Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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