Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
