lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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