I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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