i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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