this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
