there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
