at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
home. puking in laundry basket.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
