How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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