At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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