You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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