i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
