They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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