There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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