Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you made out with another girl for some wings
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
