You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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