Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
