I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
