I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
