just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
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I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
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Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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