sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
