I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
