I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
