I must be too annoying 4 u.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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