i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
