Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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