yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hippo gnu deer
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
