Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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