why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
