Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
