This is not my ceiling
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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