hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
