I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
