Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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