VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
