I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Randomize
