hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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