I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
