There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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