3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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