i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize