addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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