WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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