I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
