Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
