Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
