So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
