Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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