You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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