We're facebook friends in real life
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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