and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
