i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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