I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
