i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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