Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
