u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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