before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
