I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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